Emotions

Your first "rejection" sorta hurts doesnt it.
It was the best thing Ive ever had, and after months of happiness, I feel like shit.
It doesnt help that everyone in my house has been asking me why Im upset.
I guess when Im so cheerful for sucha long time , then suddenly stop, it looks weird.
Also I start randomly tearing up and then Im like -_____- because I dont wanna cry !
Im supposed to have thick skin ,what is this ?
Its just, that moment when everything was soo perfect comes into my head, I get butterflies in my stomach, and then BAM. That ugly moment comes next and makes me tear up.
Well, here I go again.
Argghhhh honestly.
Even better my "favorite" day of the year is coming up- (Feb 14.)
Funny thing is, For the first time in like... 4 years I was actually excited for it. Now, Im back to my "fuck it" attitude.
lol greeeat