Emotions

Your first "rejection" sorta hurts doesnt it.
It was the best thing Ive ever had, and after months of happiness, I feel like shit.
It doesnt help that everyone in my house has been asking me why Im upset.
I guess when Im so cheerful for sucha long time , then suddenly stop, it looks weird.
Also I start randomly tearing up and then Im like -_____- because I dont wanna cry !
Im supposed to have thick skin ,what is this ?
Its just, that moment when everything was soo perfect comes into my head, I get butterflies in my stomach, and then BAM. That ugly moment comes next and makes me tear up.
Well, here I go again.
Argghhhh honestly.
Even better my "favorite" day of the year is coming up- (Feb 14.)
Funny thing is, For the first time in like... 4 years I was actually excited for it. Now, Im back to my "fuck it" attitude.
lol greeeat

Life Complicated.

So here I am again, back at square 1 .
This is honestly one of the crappiest feelings Ive ever had, and it hurts, and I dont like it.
This is the feeling I least expected coming out from this.
I wonder if some of it is my fault, if it is anyones fault.
I guess I got my hopes up, and then I got hurt in the end, unintentionally .
What am I supposed to do ? Move on, pretend it doesn't hurt ?
I cant do that. It does hurt, and its gonna take a while to move on, especially after feeling like this.
Other than the fact that theres school, where he's around.
And I want to stay friends; its better than nothing at all.
Its just gonna be pretty hard, wondering about what couldve been.
It was going great, I was so happy .
Argh I have got to be the unluckiest girl on this planet -____-
Just when you think everythings gonna fall into place for the first time, theres the unexpected turn and you're back to nothing.
Idk how to feel now lmao
maybe Im acting like its a bigger deal than it really is, but I really do feel like crap o.O

Black & White

Disclaimer; No Disrespect to anyone ! Honestly, I love all of ya ;]

Ok so lately theres been an outbreak of fan pages on facebook, and one of them was, "How come its not racist when its directed towards white people"

And I became a fan, cause in most situations its true, and it annoys me.
I just noticed that whenever people talk about things, color is always involved in describing a person or situations.
Like, I understand racism is still present, but if you're the one complaining about it, why dont you stop with your remarks about a person's color ?
I saw something posted about a fight, and the person was referred to as "that white bitch". I'm gonna say this right now, and you know its true, but if I were to refer to someone as "that black bitch", I would have so much people up my ass. And thats not the reason I dont do that, I just dont feel it necessary to refer to someone as "that black bitch" or whatever.
Also, another time this was present was during the time of Obama's presidential election. In my school, 98% of the kids parents voted for Obama. However, mine voted for McCain, and NOT because of skin color, just because they liked him better. Idk, Im not involved in politics. Anyway, every time someone heard that, I was showered with remarks such as ,"Thats mad racist", "its cause Obama's black isnt it", "oh obviously, its cause your white". These people didnt even know what they were talking about. My aunt and grandma voted for Obama, so obviously theres no color preference. I hatehatehate when people say Im racist or say I do something because Im white. First of all, if I was racist, why the fuck would I go to a school where 90 something percent of the kids are spanish/ black ? Exactly.
It just gets me tight, and I haven't vented in a while.
Peace.