We dont choose .

My mom's mad at me. What else is new ?
It seems whenever I have a good day, it has to be the argument w. her that ruins it .
Seems like the majority of my sadness comes from our fights .
Little things I say or do that she doesnt like, she has to say something, and usually its something hurtful .

Ive been trying not to let it get to me.
Ive let this anger and frustration take a toll on me before, and its resulted in things I cant take back .

Sometimes, I wonder if I can have an amazing day, w.o coming home to one of her bad moods and being subjected to more arguing and yelling.

At least its not like this all the time.

We all need somebody to lean on (:

So I was just sitting here, preparing to blog about the weird day I had, how I sorta felt like crap and whatnot .
Im sitting, sitting, and Ive been waiting..
Whadya know ? My cell phone lights up , and I see the name Ive been waiting for (:
Ughh now I feel all fuzzy. It didnt even say anything cute, but it made me think that I must have crossed his mind for him to text first .
This always happens.
I dont crush too often, I'm sort of picky .
Last crush was argh, it was barely a crush, more of a maelstrom of being caught up in the excitement.
This one, I dont know . We're good friends now, and I would like to advance past that, but we'll see what happens.
With my luck, nothing will.
Nothing ever does lol .
Its good to hope though .
Anyways, I hope tomorrow will be great !
We barely have classes, and a dressdown, and a pre-Thanksgiving feast .
So, Im hoping for a good day .
And Im excited for the break, I need some time away from school .

Thats it for now
Toodles (:

Love ; such a silly little thing

Ever sat there with your phone, just waiting for that special someone to text you; for their name to appear on that little cell phone screen, saying you have a new message, and all this making your stomach flutter and you feel yourself fill with warmth ?

It sort of sucks when you see you have a new message, but its not from them, and then you dont want to text them first, but you find yourself wanting to talk to them, so in the end you end up texting them anyway .

I don't know, Ive been feeling like that lately :) And its a pretty good feeling sometimes, especially seeing the person smile at you at school and feeling yourself becoming all fuzzy .

I sound like some teen movie , but I can't help it .
:)

Untouchable; burning brighter than the sun x3

Oh crushes. What do they do to girls ? They make your stomach all fluttery, make you blush just being around that person, make you laugh a little more .
I'm sort of sick of crushes. The last one ended up such a mess that it confused me, but it taught me well.
Here are some rules, kids :
1- If he likes you, he'll talk to you. He won't ignore you at school, he won't make you go over to him.
2-He'll talk about the possibility of a relationship, not just ask you when you two are going to make-out .
3-If he's a good guy, your friends will like him too, and you won't have to fight with them over the fact that he really is nice.
4-He'll try to get your friends to like him, and apologize if he gets into fights with them.

Sound like good rules? I know, too bad they didn't work for me . These are what I learned after I had an epiphany about what I was getting into.

This may sound weird, but I realized I never actually liked him. I hadn't been in a relationship, and I guess I got caught up in the possibility and in the fact that someone started paying attention to me so much. However, I didn't listen to my heart at first and I ended up having to hear "I told you so" from both my inner being and my friends.

I guess now Im gonna wait for something real, and something I don't have to argue over and try to find the best of.
After all, "when you find something real, everything else falls into place "

The Changes of Junior Year

I don't even know where to start. 11th grade changed everything SO much. So much drama to deal with, and most of it is so pointless. I dont get why its so hard to stay out of people's business. Friends move on, and stop speaking to each other for god knows what reason. People start to hate you.
I'm having a wonderful first 3 months of school.
After dealing with everything this year, Ive learned a few lessons. Im not gonna let stupid shit affect me, Ill just do me . If I let it get to me, Ill end up a mess, and noone needs that.
People ask me why Im so nice and happy. I choose to give off that personality. I have my own shit to deal with, so why broadcast my feelings to everyone ? I don't like being a bitch to people, sorry .
As for being happy all the time, have you heard the quote, "Maybe a smile is all you need to hide behind your secrets" ? Sometimes it works .
(: