not so fantastic new year . except..

ok so i haven't written in a while, and WOW. so much has happened, this might be like 2 different entries ;] but for now, ill start typing and see how i end.

so i've been fighting with my mom a lot. and its not like ugh leave me alone, noone loves me. no, not that crap. just nasty comments and ignoring each other for weeks. like i feel as if she just doesnt listen. not at all; unless im admitting that she's right, which i almost never do. i guess im just like her in some way, although i hate to admit it, just like she wont admit that she resembles grandma :]

another thing; i really have learned who not to trust. i have friends; a whole lot. but really, only like 3 know whats going on in my life. and i tell them because i know how they will respond. they'll make me feel better; not make a joke out of it. maybe give some advice that i won't take; but they'll convince me. i found friends who won't say things that make me feel bad. i found people who, unlike most, just don't care that someone at the next table is shooting a dirty look or talking trash. i found friends who withought them, idk where id be.

i've been missing my cousin, who died 3 years ago. he shouldnt have died, and i miss him alot. more than you can imagine. he was going to help me get into a good college; he was gonna make sure no boy ever broke my heart. he was gonna take care of me. i guess thats in the past now. =(

however, on the bright side, ironically; ive had the luckiest friday the 13th ive ever had. i thought it was gonna be a bad day. i missed my train, and was cold. my luck turned when i got to school! my math teacher was absent. then, i won the school raffle which was a free meal at a cafe. then, i won 5 extra points on my history test. after that, i hung out w. some close friends who are so fun to be around. and at the end of the day, i made a new friend. i guess i dont believe in superstition anymore, because not everyone falls under the fate of friday the 13th.

the last thing i want to talk about is love and relationships.so , since valentines day passed, i realized that even though ive been wanting a boyfriend, its ok if i dont have one now. i dont get why it surprises people when i say ive never had a boyfriend. maybe it just wasnt meant to be all these years. i have friends coming out of 2 year relationships, and at 15 yrs old, im ok to be single. sure its a little pang if the guy i like is an idiot, but hey, obviously ill find someone better. im sticking to this theory; there's a prince charming for every girl. mine just got lost and was too stubborn to ask for directions (:

so now im done, and ill update in a while.

peaceeeeeeeee (:

love, mee <3